


and his pillars collapse

by cabriesun



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Male Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Shiro's gone, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-19 04:56:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14867025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabriesun/pseuds/cabriesun
Summary: So what should I do?All that's left is molecules of you.Keith tries to move on; for Shiro.





	and his pillars collapse

**Author's Note:**

> i was going through my fics and realized how many sheith fics i have ;-; (i have one)
> 
> enjoy the angsty bois! it's short _sigh_

Loss wasn’t necessarily new to Keith before the Kerberos mission. It became more of a normality after the deprivation of his parents, his friends, and what seemed to be a normal life. He got over it; he coped in the best (the worst) way he could. A little trouble brought him Shiro after all.  
  
He remembers the first day they met like a scene out of a movie. He stood by his classroom, upper back pressed against the wall as he scanned the other students paying him no mind. His heart thudded in his chest, worried he looked tenser than he actually is. First days were the devil; they always would be, no matter where he went.  
  
But a pair of fine grey eyes met his from across the hall, Keith barely aware they were there in the first place. Keith, startingly awake under the overwhelming presence of the man mere feet away from him, stuttered as he moves to stand properly. A high ranking officer didn’t need to see him slouching; _especially_ on the first day. Or, _any_ day.  
  
His gaze was cool, calm and collected, a glacial wave crashing over him and washing away his tyrannical anxiety. Keith’s boots cemented into the ground, cradling his books in his hands as if it would draw attention away from him. As predicted, he was wrong. The stranger before him followed his own agenda, pursuing him before he had the chance to escape.  
  
Keith braced himself, eyes shutting instinctively as the taller man’s body heat trapped him against the wall. His presence pushed him further against the hard surface. Then, he’s tipping his head high and letting his eyes flutter open to stare directly into the storm.  
  
“I thought you were gonna melt if I got any closer,” a wide grin spreads across prominent features. Keith felt himself being swept in, only to be seated in the eye of the hurricane the moment he glimpsed at that smile.  
  
Still portraying unbreakable confidence, up close there’s a friendlier spirit in the air he’s suffocating on.  
  
“I…”  
  
That of course, didn’t mean he could talk properly. Naturally.  
  
“Glad you didn’t melt,” he joked.  
  
“Keith?”  
  
“Are you sure? Because I can check the student catalog for you, just in case.”  
  
Keith was surprised when a giggle slipped past his lips, hands reaching to cover his mouth. He was embarrassed, to say the least. It felt too casual for a first encounter with a high ranking officer such as this young man. But it didn’t seem like he had any qualms against talking to Keith anyway.  
  
“I’m Shiro,” he held his hand out, “but you can call me Takashi, or Shiro too. Or _both_. Just, don’t call me sir. _Please_.”  
  
Keith couldn’t forget how fast he grabbed that hand. The possibility of meeting someone decent in a new place, someone that he could hold close in the back of his heart. The possibility of it _working in his favor_? It was forbidden fruit, too sweet for consumption. Shiro took the form of his forbidden fruit, and Keith didn’t waste a single bite. He knew that much.  
  
Soon enough, his friend turned into his training partner. His training partner turned into his interim roommate.  
  
On a fateful night in February, that interim roommate became his lover.  
  
The first kiss was new, scary, but _enthralling_  before any of that. Keith could sense the familiar bubble in his stomach that night, the one that you get when you _know_ you want to kiss someone. Your gut, pushing you to act instead of imaging the soft, delicate touch of the man’s lips. The thin line of dreams and reality were to be crossed that night, and who was Keith to ignore such a call?  
  
A single wisp of Shiro’s affection on the tip of his tongue and his pillars collapse. Shiro’s warmth collided with his on the roof of their dorm building, fever and lust taking the wheel without a single protest.  
  
He would never have thought a love like theirs would be realistic for someone who couldn’t stop losing.  
  
But Shiro? Shiro instilled some of that hope he’d thought he’d lost so long ago. How? Keith still isn’t very sure. Shiro has a talent for these kinds of things, breaking people down to the point where they have no choice but to have him help.  
  
Night time has been the hardest to overcome since the launch to Kerberos. He still feels Shiro’s presence in his vacant dorm room. Keith never _had_ a roommate assigned to him, no, but he certainly got used to having him around.  
  
Most of the time, he lays awake, memories of their encounters together at the Garrison reeling in his mind. Sleep is foreign, something that comes once in a while. He has no means of contacting Shiro, depending on the lackluster efforts of the institution he’s living in.  
  
It’s not fair, how in the dark he is. How the Garrison could send three men into space but couldn’t work out any type of student to astronaut communication. And sure, he’s probably delirious with all his aimless blabbering, but it all comes from the same place of pain and loneliness.  
  
There are hints of him everywhere; his t-shirt draped on the headboard, a hair clip abandoned on his nightstand…it’s all inescapable. How is he to progress with such a substantial weight holding him back?  
  
It continues like this for weeks, Keith barely able to drag himself out of his funk for classes. He _hates it_ , and his heart yearns for Shiro and only Shiro.  
  
Some time near the two-month mark, a flash of Keith’s last conversation with Shiro plagues his mind, stripping him of sleep for yet another night.  
  
_“Don’t miss me too much babe, yeah?”_  
  
_“I will; I don’t have a lot of friends here, Shiro. You know that.”_  
  
_“Make some. I know you can. I know who you are, and I know that any one of those students would be lucky to know you.”_  
  
_“They’ll never understand me like you do.”_  
  
_“And for that, I love you.”_  
  
_“I love you too. Don’t change up there, yeah?”_  
  
_“Never.”_  
  
It’s then when Keith’s eyes widen to the size of saucers. Shiro wouldn’t want him to do this.  
  
He can’t. Not anymore.  
  
  
  
  
Shiro’s last words to him ring in his ear, the melody of his serene voice quelling the tremors in his stomach as he stands in the Garrison cafeteria. _Make friends_.  
  
He’s still hurting, the lack of Shiro in the room more than evident no matter where he goes. But he chooses to fight it, instead of mourning any longer. As much as he wants to claw his aching heart out of his chest, Keith has come to acknowledge that he hasn’t lost Shiro. No, this isn’t another tally on the scoreboard, because Shiro promised to come back.  
  
Shiro left to pursue something greater than him. Keith let him go, and Shiro promised to return.  
  
He keeps this in the front of his mind as he approaches the nearest lunch table he finds. Taking charge for once, he sits down beside a boy with wide, round glasses, looking at the other two boys in front of him.  
  
“I-I’m Keith,” he chooses to introduce himself first, remember the stark fear he felt being approached, but remembering how that pressure prompted him to speak, “can I sit here?”  
  
All three of them look at each other, reluctant to respond. Keith watches the scrawny Cuban boy directly across from his place a finger on his chin, squinting before finally nodding in approval.  
  
“Yes, you can…Keith. I’m Lance.”  
  
“I like you so far,” the heftier one beside him grins, “I’m Hunk.”  
  
“Pidge,” the boy next to him holds his hand out for him to shake, “nice to meet you!”  
  
“Great, now that that’s done, I still need today’s Calculus homework. Any volunteers?”  
  
As the three of them delve back into their conversation, Keith smiles to himself, celebrating his success privately. Shiro would be proud, and he keeps the mere thought of that close to his heart. Though it breaks, he swears to himself that he’ll keep moving forward.  
  
For Shiro.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading ;-;
> 
> you can follow my tumblr [sheith-keef](https://sheith-keef.tumblr.com/) here.  
> my writing commissions are open! the link can be found on my tumblr!


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